Friday, June 27, 2008

Another One Gone from the Blogsphere

One reason many of us start blogs and personal finance ones is because we need an outlet for our worries and concerns about our finances. Personal finance is pretty much a taboo subject in American culture. In general, most folks don't go to parties and discuss their VISA debt or any debt at all. It just makes people uncomfortable to talk about. Discussing personal bankruptcy, heck you may as well put a big fat black B on your chest and watch yourself be really shunned, it just makes folks uncomfortable.

In my case, I started this blog after spending about 8 months reading other PF blogs. I was in the middle of my Bankruptcy filing and dealing with those issues and all the conflicting emotions and feelings I was having about becoming Bankrupt. The blog gave me a place to vent and to share. I've gotten some excellent advice both in my comments and in my e-mail from my readers and for that I am very grateful. I did this Bankruptcy all on my own. I'm not married, not currently in a steady relationship and of course, did not tell my family or friends (save for 2 friends). I used this blog as a place to vent, get support, and get information and I still do use it for that reason. I may be discharged, but I have a long way to go before I really "bounce back from bankruptcy". I'm in a huge learning curve and will be for a long time.

Along the way I have collected a number of blogs I read on a regular basis. I have the "baby bloggers", those single folks in their 20's and early 30's who are paying off student loans, credit card debt while trying to balance having a social life and a work life. The families working towards debt reduction or the goal of buying a home and I'm slowing finding the "boomer bloggers"-people closer to my age that blog about personal finance and life. What I love about the blogsphere is the diversity of the authors of each blog.

I have one blog I've been reading for a while that has gone very quiet. It's a woman who has written about her (and her husbands) struggle with debt and personal finance. They are struggling, they have car, boat, mortgage, loan and credit card payments. She was making progress each month towards her debt reduction. A few weeks ago she stopped posting. I figured she was taking a break, she did say she wanted a little break from blogging to just relax a bit. I clicked onto her link today and got the message that the author deleted the blog. I've had a couple links where I've gotten the same message, blog unavailable, blog only open to invited readers, blog deleted.

I worry about some of those blog authors. The common theme prior to deletion was that of more pain and despair, you could read the struggle they were having with managing their money. The other common theme was they almost without exception where the ones shouldering the responsibility of the debt, even if they were in a relationship, it seems they were the one person coordinating the debt reduction and taking on all the responsibility. Since they were blogging (anonymously) about it, I had hoped that maybe they were taking some of the advice under consideration (the good, the bad, the kind and the not so kind.).

For any of you who may read this blog and would like to start your own, please do!. Ask for reciprocal links, put yourselves out there, make the time a couple times a week to post. I've gotten tons of support from people and even more ideas, hints, help, suggestions and resources than I can ever list here. Just don't go "silent" and leave us all wondering 'what happened"/


Chicky said...

sooo sad, the bright side of debt is not with us anymore :(She inspired me in so many levels, I can not believe she just deleted her blog..

Bouncing Back said...

I know, it's sad. I hope she is OK. I really admired her determination to get through her debt.

Quatchi said...

Michelle was very inspiring, and seemed to be learning so much about debt and communicating with her husband. I felt like I was with her in her journey. I'm sad to see her go. I'm so curious as to why.

Quatchi said...

I also wante dto add that I found this post very touching and on-the-nose. I hope she reads it and know that she is missed by a community of PF bloggers (and lurkers) who miss her!

:) said...

I never read her blog but fingers crossed that everything is okay for her.
Maybe she had a particularly bad day or week and it was a spur of the moment decision to delete her blog.
What a wonderful, supportive bunch you all are. I hope she reads your comments.

C xxx

Foxie said...

I agree, I was really disappointed when I found out it was gone. :( She'll definitely be missed in the community, she was around for a while, no?

I whole heartedly agree with the starting of a blog. I find it fun to include "blogging" as one of the things I do. :) The support and learning environment the PF blogosphere creates is top notch.

louise said...

yes it's a shame, it was a good blog, here's hoping that she's OK, It's dissapointing when good bloggers just stop posting

Rachele said...

Came aacross this blog and it inspired me to take a better look at our finances. I must commend you on your creative cooking, I wish I was that creative, and that my family would actually eat it. I wish you luck in your "re-training" on finances and congratulate you on your home repair projects.

Bouncing Back said...

Thanks! Things are a work in progress and I'm slowly getting there!

Shevy said...

It really is kind of sad when a blog is just abandoned or deleted.

I think, unless there's some kind of major reason for deleting (for instance, being seriously harassed or having one's family request it) that it's better to leave the blog up so people can still read the archives and just make a final post that says you won't be around anymore.

I guess I'm one of those boomer bloggers, BTW. I started blogging because, in part, I wanted the accountability but also because there were no bloggers out there addressing the range of issues I face.

Almost all the boomers seem to be so far ahead of where I am that it's hard to relate. I'm dealing with very little money saved for retirement and a preschooler still at home! Much more like a 20 something, but with only 15 years left to save.

Bouncing Back said...

Lots of boomers are way a head of us with respect to the retirement savings, you are not the only one. I think there may be more of us than folks let on!

Welcome to the blogsphere. I'll add you to my list the next time I update the blogroll.

Dawn said...

I almost deleted my blog back in April.
I was going through a meltdown of sorts ...
But did feel a sense of connection to the friends I had made in the blogosphere.
And just didn't want to disappear.
So I posted a sort of good-bye note.
A lot of people left comments telling me just to leave it up & not be so drastic by deleting it.
I'm really glad I listened to them and didn't.
It's been two months - and I'm feeling better!

I think when I was sliding towards the bottom of my meltdown ...
It was all about isolating myself.
Therefore - I wanted to disconnect.
(And there was probably some control issues going on).
I felt so out of control and vulnerable.
Man ... meltdowns suck!!!!

I'm feeling healthier & stronger, though.
And I am grateful to my P.F. blogging pals that nudged me out of deleting my blog.
It truly is a terrific tool to share the ups & downs of my life, helping myself ... and maybe even somebody else!
Thanks for being one of those friends, bouncing back!
I appreciate it more than you know!!!
God Bless ...