UGH! What has Fat Tuesday got to do with Personal Finance-a lot today. As I've mentioned in a couple previous posts, I have to (under MD's orders) lose weight and last week I ruined my two pairs of khaki colored work pants in the laundry.
I dragged myself out shopping yesterday, trolling my favorite thrift and consignment shops did not yield any decent pants, much less any bargins. I went to TJ Maxx and grabbed a couple pairs of pants in my size. Lo and behold, I did not fit into "my size". Did not fit at all. I was really upset.
It's the beginning of February, it's rainy and snowy, the sun has barely shined these past couple weeks, too many of my freinds are off to sunny places for vacations, I'm bored with the primary process, and to top it off, I've outgrown most of my work pants. Going to the store was a really rotten and miserable experience. I had to go up a size in pants. I have not joined a gym. I can't fit into my favorite skirts, I've not budgeted for a whole new wardrobe (nor do I want a whole new wardrobe). My social life is in the pits as well. I want to sit on my couch, drink tea and watch DVDs on my TV for the rest of the week. Just staying in bed and pulling the covers over myhead is another good option too.
I sat in the dressing room, told myself I was such a chubby loser, resigned myself to the larger size, got two pairs of pants (at least on sale, but will have to be hemmed) and made a promise to myself to finally get that gym membership I've been putting off.
I've been putting it off because I just can't face the fact that through this whole Bankruptcy process I have taken out my frustrations and fears by eating and drinking thousands of calories. Other people stress out and lose weight; I stress out and gain weight. Yikes. Well there is no one to blame but myself, no one put a gun to my head and said “eat a pound of pasta and garlic bread for dinner”.
Not being overly religious, I don't observe Lent, but this year I'll make an exception. I'll give up beer and cut back on my therapeutic glass of wine. And it's off to the gym this weekend for that free two week pass and to sign up for the membership that is long overdue.
1 comment:
Wanted to let you know that you are not alone! Unfortunately not only do I eat to drown my sorrows, but I also eat to celebrate my victories, combat boredom, celebrate good times with friends, substitute eating for having a real relationship, etc etc etc....You don't know me from Adam but I read your blog and your post looked all too familiar so I wanted to comment. Hope things look up for you soon! GME
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