Less Than 24 Hours

My first meeting of my creditors is less than 24 hours away. Part of me feels like I want to throw up. Part of me is aching to get on with my new life. I've had very mixed emotions about this and if I could have this weekend, I would have stayed in bed with the covers over my head.

I have no idea what is going to happen. My mail box has been very empty (which is a good thing, all the creditors have been notified and the hate mail has stopped). I can answer my phone without dread, I'm not totally freaked about every car that comes down my small road.

This past weekend I helped to put on a charity function and my organizational skills were put to good use. We had minimal expenses, more donations of goods and services than I thought we would get and our net gain was quite large. The charity in question was thrilled with the outcome. I wish I could have done that with my fiscal life.

A big part of me feels like a failure, I could not manage my own money and now I'm 18 hours away from being declared legally bankrupt. UGH