Monday, July 20, 2009

Still Not Giving In, But Still Can't Ask for Money

My neighbor pulled the money plug on her daughter a few weeks ago. She has stopped giving her almost 20 year old daughter rent and paying for all her apartment expenses. You can read about that in my previous post.

I have to give my neighbor credit, she is still dealing with a sulking child and still not forking over the additional cash. Said child is not a bad kid, just used to getting a lot of things paid for by mom who feels the need to "compensate with cash".

The good news is said child is sulking less, but at least talking to her parents. The second bit of good news is my neighbor is keeping up with the utility repayment plan (yup, she the mom is still paying back February's utility bill), the third bit of good news is said child has a full time job until December-She is doing work for the State and it's a "seasonal" position.

I did make the rash suggestion that my neighbor ask her daughter for rent or food money-like $25 a week towards rent or food. The look on my neighbors face was priceless. I don't think she expected me to come out with that. She claims she "can't ask" her daughter for rent or food money. Why, she never said. I simply told her that if she was still paying back utilities, the money could be used towards those utilities.

I do have to say, it was a rough few weeks, but I am still proud of my neighbor for not giving in. Now if her daughter would contribute towards her own upkeep.........

Small steps...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

When I moved back home after my divorce...I paid rent until I moved into a new place.

Dawn said...

One step at a time, I guess. This is all new for daughter and mom, they might want to take this all in before jumping into rent, although I can see that as a natural next step.

Cindy said...

My daughter plans to move back in with me when her husband deploys. The rules were simple when I agreed: She has to get a job and she has to pay her own way. My financial situation is such that I couldn't support her even if I wanted to do so. My kids were told from an early age that they had free room and board as long as they were in school. When they quit going to school, they should be financially able too support themselves.

Dr. Faith said...

From the daughter's side though, going from getting everything paid for to paying for things on your own can be a big leap. That is how a lot of credit card debt happens, when young adults are used to a standard of living and suddenly can't afford it on their own. Hope it goes well!

FRANNIE said...

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marci said...

I can relate to this neighbor's daughter. I am the youngest child of a family of 4 kids and yes, I got the better end of the deal if you were to compare with my siblings. For about 5 years now I have been on my own financially and struggling with bills. I have a bit of credit card debt but I'm not in totally over my head. I agree with Dr. Faith, that "going from getting everything paid for to paying for things on your own can be a big leap." I know it was for me, and still is. Every time I have to pay my car insurance, every six months, I cringe because I'm not used to having to pay that big of a bill up front.

I have a good job, for 3 years now, but it still doesn't seem to pay for every single thing in life. I am constantly struggling with money and what priorities I have to spend on first.

My boyfriend was living with his cousins for a while and they expected 80-100 dollars per week for rent. He couldn't give them that much but constantly filled the fridge and cupboards, cooked, cleaned house, did dishes, etc. Sometimes household chores can be equivalent to a rent payment. But that would still be up to the neighbor to decide. Good luck!

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