Before I start this post, I have to remind myself and everyone, that since I filed for my bankruptcy, I have been able to bounce back in certain areas. I got a new to me car, I got a credit card, I live a mainly cash only existence, I'm feeling a bit more in control of my finances...
The big YET
One of my problems that led me to the bankruptcy was this string of bad luck, things so out of my control that kept knocking me down personally, professionally and most importantly, fiscally. Things are not quite that bad this time around, but I do feel like it's two steps forward and three steps back and that I'm stuck in a mud pile, bog, or what ever. It's an incredibly frustrating feeling.
I try to be positive, I try to ask the universe for help, I pray to my gods, I make action plans, I set measurable goals, I say my daily affirmations, I network, I do vision boards, I think I'm doing everything I need to do, yet I have a huge issue getting plans to come to fruition in a timely basis~ something happens that sets me back, time and time again.
One of my readers awhile ago said I should just ask the universe. I've tried, I am probably not asking the correct way. Call me paranoid or crazy, but at one point before the BK I really felt like someone had put a hex on me. I can almost to the day tell you when things went belly up for me and the daily grind became a daily struggle, it was the 2nd week in February 2004. You may think I'm crazy, but it was from that point forward that I got stuck in the 2 steps forward, 3 steps back mode.
I have never shied away from hard work. I am not asking for things to be dropped into my lap, but it would be nice to have a string of good luck or easy successes to bolster my confidence or to balance out the struggles. It is discouraging to repeatedly feel that I am stuck in a place and can not move forward.
I wish I had an answer for the above. I wish I could give you all the magic plan to get out of this cycle. It's draining on the mind as well as the body and finances to feel this way. So what am I going to do, not 100% sure. I keep reworking my goal list so that I do get a sense of accomplishment, but I still have this major goals and projects that need to be done or worked on and getting some sense of satisfaction with those is the on going issue.
In the quest to get my new to me car, I did a vision board of the type of car I wanted (a small SUV) with the extras I wanted,even down to the GPS and cargo rack. I also did my homework, checking out dealerships, price checking, getting my finances in order for a very post BK venture into the world of a consumer loan. It took a couple months, but I did get the vehicle I wanted with the extras I wanted and now almost two years later, I still love it!
Yet I am having a problem transferring that success to other parts of my life. I'm not talking expensive jewels or designer clothes or first class trips around the world. I'm talking about getting a reputable contractor to tackle that never ending home repair list of things I can't do, I'm talking about job goals, personal goals. Things that I should be able to achieve, yet getting these goals and accomplishments seems to move ever so slowly forward. So very slowly......
I'm open to any and all suggestions and yes, I'm even looking for a way to break that hex. :)