Hoarding, Binging and Purging

May was an interesting month to say the least. I saw my part time job come to a crashing halt, and I spent a lot of money on a bunch of Wants and not Needs. AND to top it off, I feel like I'm stuck in a bucket of Molasses. Able to move, but ever so slowly.

As I posted before, I got my last large check from my weekend job. I promptly used it to pay off a bunch of bills. I realized going through my desk that I had let some bills pile up and go unpaid. Things like a license renewal for my real estate license (which just made it to the state under the wire), the last of my winter fuel bill, a property tax bill, some payments for my hobby, an overdue vet bill. I was hording my bills and hording my money. I went from both feeling really good about paying off all these nagging little bills and having nothing pressing to be paid on my desk to wanting to horde my money because, well, just because. I don't know why I was “hoarding” a bunch of the small bills, I had the money in my account to pay them, I just let them sit on my desk.

I'm feeling more than a bit frustrated about various parts of my life. How did I cope with the frustration? I ate more than my fair share of food, drank more than my fair share of liquor and did a bunch of shopping. I shopped for items that are most defiantly wants and not needs and I did some clothes shopping.

As I previously mentioned, I did a purge of my possessions in May. I also got rid of a bunch of clothes that were either too small or stained or had rips, tears, or what ever. I did a very halfhearted tour of the local consignment and thrift shops to look for some replacements. Nothing caught my eye, or fit, or whatever. I ended up going to a couple stores and bought 6 new tops. They were on sale, but I bought new. I also went shopping for a bunch of wants. The list includes a new bistro patio table, a pair of Crocs, a tent, a new to me nightstand, new laundry basket for my bedroom, a bunch of miscellaneous items from IKEA that were not needed, and yes the new laptop too, but just wants, and well, the list goes on with nothing that was very expensive, but added up to a chunk of change in the end. I even spent the money I had earmarked to go to my E fund.

Sigh.. Why I did this, I have no decent explanation. It was like I was taking out my frustrations shopping. Honestly, I hate shopping. It's a chore for me to go to the grocery store to do my big shops, I prefer to shop on line as much as possible, malls and most stores give me a headache. I know it's human to fall off the fiscal wagon so to speak, but I felt like all I did was grab my debit card and shop. Can you say a frustrating month?