Some Cool Blogs

Today's plan is to update some cool blogs I've been able to find online. Here are a few of my new found favorites.

Single Broke Female: I love her taste in movies, very similar to mine. Plus she is trying to carve out a new life for herself in London, a city totally different than Liverpool. She needs our moral support!

Saving Diva: We seem to have the same car issues (old, running, but in need of work), and I like a lot of the links in her posts.

Broke Ass Student: Another blog with some great links to other blogs. I especially love the link to how to handle debt collectors-very useful information for anyone who ever has to or needs to deal with a debt collector/collection agency. Protect yourself first!

I still need to work on cleaning off and decluttering my desk . If you know of any cool blogs, let me know.

Frustration Factor

Just to add to this mornings post. I logged on to a couple of the web sites that have financial/money mangement programs I'm supposed to complete prior to the whole bankruptcy being discharged. With the bank holiday coming up this weekend, I thought this would be a good time to get one or both of the courses done.

Of course, you can't take them until you have a case number, and I don't have a case number yet. It's two steps forward, one step back.

I also took a good look at my house this am. The clutter has taken over again! I think letting the clutter collect is a reflection of my frazzled state of mind. My desk is a mess, I had hoped to go through all the piles and do an organize session. Did not happen. I have a bunch of stuff in my file cabinet that can be brought here to work to be shredded in the shredder and then maybe I can clear off my desk. I need to stick to my weekly plan as I stated I would.

I live in a really small house and the decluttering will be good to also help me free up some space in my living space. I have to be more diligent in the 1) Do I love it? 2) Do I need it? 3) Is it useful questions when I look at my things. The upside is that E-bay is now has free insertion fees so I'll see what I can sell on E-Bay, see what I can sell on Half.com, and see if I can't clear out some space.

AND I have to REMEMBER to BREATHE.

Some Random Thoughts

I read something interesting on the Ugly Debty blog yesterday. Ugly Debty said that blogging was a good way to help with the debt process. And ya know what? She's right.

Part of my frustration is not being able to "share" this process, part of it shame, part of it I just want to move on with my life. But the process needs to be processed. I find the blogging to be very helpful. I can pour out my concerns, vent, rant, rave in cyberspace. Is anyone actually reading this stuff? I don't know. What I do know is I do feel better when I can take five minutes and post a blog.

I'm hoping to eventually get more interesting and useful items up here for folks, but I'm on dial up at home and only have my lunch hour to really surf the net at work and find cool stuff to post .

And if anyone is reading this stuff and can give me some direction on the blog template (adding adsense, pay per post, counters, RSS feed) that would be really helpful. I have an adsense account for my more public blog, I think I can also use it here. I'm trying to make the sidebars a bit more interesting as well. Some peoples blogs are amazing.

Oh well, on with work!

This Weeks Plan

Keeping with my schedule, I used my lunch break to plan this weeks plan. I have everything I need to get to my attorney for the filing, so that is good news. I'm doing better by setting goals as I go through this process.

On the upside, I got my new health insurance approved and the card arrived the other day. I can make a couple MD appointments for some minor stuff. So here are this weeks goals.

1) Make MD appointments now that I have insurance.
2) Go to the dreaded SSA office and update incorrect paperwork (I can't do it by mail- I asked)
3) Go through bookshelf and find 5 books to go on half.com
4) Clean food cupboard and restock/shop for beginning of September. (I hate food shopping and try to only do it when I have to).

You may say, hey, these are easy goals, but taking things slowly and one step at a time is making all the difference in my whole outlook on life.

Budget Update

Since this is Monday, it is time for a budget update as a part of my new leaf on life.

As I stated in my previous post, i got an overdue check for a freelance gig and have have earmarked it for my car fund. Only $5895 to go.

I also started my budget planning in earnest as I had said I would. I use propane to heat my house and right now propane is at a cheap cheap price. I have asked my supplier to fill the tank and sort of get a jump on the winter.

I also got a bread machine on freecycle and made my first two loaves of bread. One a french bread and one an herb bread. The herb bread was pretty good, the french bread a bit damp (too much liquid?) but so easy to make. I'm hoping to use the bread maker at least once a week to make a fresh loaf. I figure it cost me about 60 cents to make the bread (including the electricity for the bread maker). It costs me about $3.29 for a loaf of any bread at the grocery store.

My list of needs and wants is actually very small, I don't have much to ad to the previous post at this point. I need slippers, I want a new TV. I don't think I"ll need too much in the way of winter clothes at this point, (socks, a new pair of gloves).

Now you may say, What has budgeting got to do with Bankruptcy and bouncing back from it? It's all about planning and being fiscally responsible. I need to start now making those changes that will help my credit score and allow me to be the responsible person I was. Planning a budget and sticking to it is the first step.

I reccommend you use some sort of software. Quicken, Microsoft Money all have budget worksheets. Do some research and check out the various budget sites. Below is the snowball method of paying down your debt (taken from the web site, http://www.personalfinancebudgeting.com/). If I remember correctly, Suze Orman uses this method as well. According to my cousin, this is how her son was able to pay off all his debts in less than two years and buy an amazing home as well.

Use the snowball technique.
Identify your smallest debt (debt one).
Pour every available cent each payday into paying down that debt. Pay the minimum payment on the other debts.
Once you have paid off that first debt, identify the next smallest one (debt two).
Add the amount you had been paying on debt one to the minimum of debt two, and pay that amount.
Let the snowball grow with each debt you eliminate.
As you continue, your snowball will get huge, and your progress will seem to multiply.
Keep a chart of your progress.
Plan ahead how you will celebrate the successful elimination of each debt along the way. But don't celebrate in ways that would slow your progress. Be tenacious. Don't let anything get in your way.

Checks in the Mail

I was able to update my money progress bar. I got an overdue check in the mail for $105 for some freelance work I did. It is earmarked for the new (or new to me) car.

I also got my payroll statement, so I can send all that to my attorney and I think finally close this chapter and move on to the next one in the Bankruptcy Saga.

I did see on one of the blogs I read that krystalatwork is getting ready to sell some old stuff on e-bay. She also said it's not about making a profit (it will be a slim one) but about clearing the clutter. YEAH.

I got a box of mixed DVD's and VHS tapes from a friend last week. I took the ones I wanted and gave the rest to Goodwill. I'm going to go through my bookshelves later this week and see what I can put on half.com for sale as well.

It's all about the clearing of the clutter and having room to breathe.

A Reality Check

I came home from work on Friday to find the power was out at the house. This put me in a right foul mood. All I wanted to do was veg in front of the TV and drink a couple beers with the fan blowing on me and take a shower before going to bed.

Instead, it was warm beer on the neighbors deck and bed time by 9:15 PM. No power means no water, I'm on a well if you don't have power for the well pump, you don't have water.

I woke up early to go to an event and had a major reality check about my life and my supposed big issues. I ran into a person I consider a very good acquaintance. We volunteer at the same functions once or twice a year and we have some mutual friends. We always enjoy working with each other.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Lisa doing a Sinead O'Connor impression with a bald head. DUH- not Sinead, breast cancer.

Lisa had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago, had a radial mastectomy and was undergoing Chemo. She had lost her hair, was having her ass kicked with this round of chemo (her words) , but she was happy to have caught it when she did and feels optimistic about the future. I hugged her and said Oh baby how are you? My issues seemed to melt like butter under the noon day sun.

Lisa is very lucky, she has a wonderful family who love her and support her and she also has her "volunteer"family who love and support her. With all those good vibes around her, there is no doubt in my mind she will be a long term survivor.

Needs and Wants

I decided to post a Needs and Wants Post. I've spent half the evening trying to get online and to do some work/research. My computer and internet service provider are at odds with each other-again. As I work through this bankruptcy, what I find a kicker is that I'm at the stage where I need things, not want things, need things. Things that require loans and financing. UGH

1) I need a new computer. My laptop is five years old and starting to be un-useful. Plus I'm on dial up so any on line work or research takes forever! I have a goal to try to earn enough extra money to buy a new computer. Amount in that fund is really small.

2) I need new slippers. Ok, not quite a computer, but I realized my current pair are totally shot. At least I can afford a new pair from Target, maybe 2 pair if I find them on sale. My floors are cold and I don't keep the heat on very high in the winter.

3) I will need a new car sometime this fall. My poor baby has over 200,000 miles on it and owes me nothing. I think the time is coming to let it rest. I'm starting to have repairs on it and each repair has been around $500 to $600 each. That could be two months of car payments. Not sure (yet) how I am going to afford a new or new to me vehicle at this point, are there really car dealerships that will extend credit to someone fresh out of Bankruptcy? I've not researched that yet, I've only seen the ads on tv and in the paper.

4) I want a new TV. My current TV is a small 12 inch color portable tv, but it's really small. I don't have cable, I borrow a lot of movies from the local library and it would be nice to see a movie on a larger screen. My computer monitor at work is bigger than my TV.


I can live without the new TV and will live without the new TV until I reach very specific financial goals. I'm going to have to figure out how to finance a new to me vehicle.


The upside to all of this I posted on Freecycle, a desire for a bread maker. Low and behold, someone in the neighboring town has one she got as a gift and is giving to me. I love fresh bread, but buying a loaf at the bakery is expensive and I end up with too much bread and not enough space in my freezer to store it. I've used a bread maker before and I know that it will give me the perfect sized loaf of bread, good enough for a couple days. I'm looking forward to coming home to fresh bread for dinner.

Ah yes, and now time to go to bed and get some sleep.

Frustration Factor

I'm am just frustrated this evening. I got an envelope in the mail from an attorney's office about one of the credit cards. It's the CC that drove me over the edge, they decided to sue me for their money. I tried to work with their collection agency to set up a repayment plan and they would not budge. Instead, they served me with papers and sued me in court. Remember what I said earlier about talking to your CC company as soon as you can to avoid things like this? I did not and look where it got me.

They have a settlement that says I will pay back $35 a week forever until the debt is paid, they could have put a lien on my house, but they did not. Yet I should say.

What is frustrating is that my attorney is supposed to be dealing with this sort of thing. AND had the collection agency dealt with me and worked with me for a repayment plan (instead of asking for all the money at once), I might not be here in Bankruptcy. Might Not.

I am also frustrated as I asked our payroll department for a print out of my past three months of pay stubs. I have to give the court my last 12 weeks of payroll. I checked my paperwork and it only says one month (HA I did take the right notes in my meeting) and I only keep my pay stubs for the past three payroll periods. I check what gets put into my account, I check it against my statement, then I shred the old pay stubs. The folks in payroll said they would have a print out for me by today and they did not. I called and they won't have it until Monday. Training session tomorrow, day off on Friday, Monday. I asked for this last week. What is so freaking hard?

I am just not a happy camper and can't do the final filing until I have those stubs. Just another block in wrapping up this process and moving on.

The Best Tip I've Had All Week.

I got a pre-paid phone card as a gift at Christmas I think it has something like 700 minutes on it and I used it when I was house sitting for a friend where I had no mobile service. I put $30 worth of phone time on the card the other day and I know have over 1000 minutes of talk time. I cancelled my long distance phone service because I don't use my long distance phone service at home that much. My monthly LD service for the land line costs $20 just to have in place, I was paying taxes and surcharges on a service I hardly used.

I looked over my old phone bills and realized that I was paying for a service I never used. The phone card is 2.8 cents per minute and I have unlimited weekends on my mobile phone as well. Since I spend a lot of time on the phone at work, I really don't use the phone that much at home.

Look into the phone card if you have a land line. You can buy them at Costco, BJ's and other ware house clubs. This may not work for you if you are a multi person residence or tend to loose things like phone cards.

The General Ramblings of The Week

OK, so the plan yesterday was to work on my budget, but I did not. Shame shame on me. I did make a start, I balanced my check book, looked at my incoming cash flow, looked at my outgoing cash flow. At least faced up to it a bit. I just have to plug in the numbers.

I'm waiting for a payroll summary to arrive from my payroll department. Then that goes to my attorney (or I should say, his paralegal) and then I sign the forms. I did look at my ever growing file on the bankruptcty and realized I have to take classes. I think I can do them on line, so if that is the case, I'll try and start this weekend. I want to just get this done and over with.

What has been frustrating about this whole experience is I feel like I'm being told a bunch of things I need to do sort of after the fact. Hum, I thought I took very good notes in my two meetings with the legal office. Guess I did not or was soo overwhelmed I did not hear everything. The paralegal must think she is dealing with an idiot.

For those in a money crunch and you don't want to end up where I am. Here are a couple tipsI strongly suggest you do the following things AFTER YOU CUT UP AND SHREAD YOUR CREDIT CARDS.

1) Take a serious look at your credit card balances. Open those envelopes, write down the TOTAL amount owed and the percentage rate. Remember, I told you to organize your files so you can find your bills? This is one reason why.Then take a deep breathe and exhale.

2) If you are not deliquent, call your credit card company and ask for a lower interest rate. Make some phone calls. If you are having trouble paying the minimum, tell them, work with them see if they will work with you. Many will, they'd rather work with you than spend tons of their time and money sending you to collection.

3) If you are deliquent and are having problems, call Consumer Credit Counseling Services. They are a not for profit agency that will evaluate your financial situation and help you set up a repayment plan. Word of warning, these are no nonsense folks, they cut up your credit cards, you pay them, they pay your creditors and if you fall behind with them, you are on your own! Check your phone book for an agency close to you. Make sure they are licensed to do business in your state. I wish I had found them sooner, I did not.

4) DON'T fall prey to these other credit agencies that claim they can help you. Do your reasearch before you committ to any agency. There are agencies that claim they can clear your credit and give you a fresh start within months.

5) Be prepared to give up the extra's in your life, meals out, tons of new clothes, travel, etc. Remember, the goal here is to pay down, pay off your debt and get out of trouble.

6) Find a way to pay off a little extra on the minium balance to each credit card.

7) Keep a running total of what you owe and what you have paid off. Track your progress.

Karyn Bosnak eliminated her debt with her on line grubbling via her web site. Excellent idea, got her on the Today show, a book deal, and she is debt free and donated the money she got from folks to charity as well once she was debt free. I'm four years too late stealing her idea, I'm not reccommending you set up a web site for the sole purpose of getting out of debt, but she does have some excellent tips for budgeting, etc.

DISCLAIMER:The information given here is not to be in place of or in lieu of any professional advice you get from a financial advisor or other legal entity. These are some tips I have researched from other blogs and web sites and are tips based on my own personal experience. They are not the be all end all to financial planning. Every person and situation is unqiue and I strongly reccommend that you seek professional advice when dealing with your financial situation.

Tuesday's Plan

Ok,

Now that I've committed myself to a plan, here is this weeks plan.

Work on a budget. Yup a budget. I put up some financial goals, but no budget. That's part of what got me into trouble. I need to take a serious look at my budget or lack of one. This is all I have so far:

Mortgage payment $550
Gas/Electric: $60
Food/Alcohol: I know I spend way too much
Savings:
Health Insurance/HSA: $160
Home Maintenance:
Clothes:
Phones (mobile and land):
Internet: $19.95/month
Car Insurance: $66/month (too high I know for my old car)
Homeowners Insurance: $50/month (paid until Jan 2008)
Mad money account: $200 (auto deducted from my pay check)
Student Loan: $175
Petrol: $80-$100

Once I get the figures in, it's time to trim the fat, so to speak.

The Schedule

For this Blog, I’ve decided to give myself a writing schedule. I start today.


Mondays: Budgeting Updates.
Tuesday: This weeks plan.
Wednesdays: General Ramblings about what it happening in my life with this whole process
Thursdays: Blogs of Note-all sorts of Topics.
Fridays: Open for discussions-you tell me!

So Lets Take A More Upbeat Approach

As I re-read some of mys post, I realized they were DEPRESSING. Yup, plain old DEPRESSING. Time for a more upbeat post. While I am going through this process I've been reading a ton of other blogs, and the theme I keep seeing this week is about de-cluttering your life.

All in all, I think de-cluttering is a good thing. I live in a really small house it is 476 sf, yup thats 476 sf of tiny. No garage, no attic, no basement, one very small garden shed outback. When I pick up and organize I feel so much better, in control, able to face the day. Some of these tips may make me sound like your mother, but so be it, they work.

1) Put away your clothes. I'm serious, fold your laundry and put it away (closet, dresser, wardrobe). I spent two weeks looking at my laundry basket of clothes to be ironed. I spent an hour ironin my clothes and put them away. One less pile to stare at and I know I have something clean to wear at work.

2) Do a clothes purge. Go through your closet and look at what you have in it. Be ruthless, do you really need all those pants, shirts, tops? If they are in decent shape you can sell them on
e-bay, give to a consignment shop, donate to goodwill or post on freecycle or craigslist, or have a clothing swap with friends. This way you will have room in your closet to put away your clothes.

3) Take a couple hours one evening and clean off your desk or bill paying area. Don't do this after a couple glasses of wine, have the wine after. I'm a bit of an organization freak and part of what drove me to bankruptcy was allowing myself to become un-organized, seriously, I lost control of my life. Get either one of those expandable files or a set of file folders if you have a filing cabinet and organize your bills. If you are computer literate, sign up for electronic bills, save them to your computer and "file" the monthly statement. Even your power company may send you an e-bill. Having a clean desk is not the sign of an unproductive mind it is the sign of someone who knows whats going on in their life. This is also handy for planning your budgets (more on those later)

4) Sign up for the do not call list and eliminate the junk mail from your life as well. By spending about 10-20 minutes on line, you can drastically reducde the amount of unwanted e-mail, phone solicitations, etc in your life. I use a PO box for most my mail and when I pick up my mail at the Post Office, the junk mail is immediatley put into the recycle bin. I find the mail I pick up at my mail box will sit on my desk for days until I actually get around to dumping the junk mail.

5) Get rid of your old magazines, newspapers, books, etc as well. Books you can donate to the local library. I sell some on half.com .

6) Now this one may sound really wierd, but clean out your refridgerator. I like to cook and I have a bunch of half opened jars of all sorts of condiments, sauces and things just sitting in the fridge. I grabbed the garbage can and went through everything. If I did not use it in the past 3 months, out it went, check those expiry dates, salad cream with an expiration date of October 2006~ Dump it. I also wiped down the shelves, etc. I have less garbage in my fridge, not less food. And less chance of giving myself food poisioning. :)

Now you may say, why the cleaning frenzy? It's all about getting and giving yourself some space and clarity in your life. I tend to feel very overwhelmed when I look at my un-organized desk. Even just putting my bills in files, dusting, making neat piles of paper allows me to tackle one project at a time and not feel like I'm tripping all over myself.

Putting my laundry away means one less pile of "stuff" to look at. Giving away or selling things I no longer need,use,want, wonder why the hell I bought it means these items will go to someone who can actually use a fondue pot (yup I had a fondue pot and never used it, it moved with me 3 times in 8 years).

AND at the end of the night, yes I did treat myself to a nice large glass of wine.

Progress

I was trying to add those really cool progress bars,but have not been able to figure out the HTML code, give me time.

To help keep me focused, I've included my money goals. Note, these goals are up there to keep me focused and keep me motivated. I'm starting from scratch here guys.

I'm going to look into pay per post as well.

Keep tuned

A Blast from My Past

I opened up my e-mail today and I got this from my ex who has not contacted me in years.

Hi xxx,

Well I up and did it and got married and moved out to ............ in a little house ....... Life is good........I need a favor, can you give me a recommendation to ..............

Hope you are well.
........

You get the gist. Part of this e-mail was also asking if I can be a reference for the above person. and would I say something nice about him.

Say something nice? Why would I NOT say something nice? Part of me wanted to reach down the internet and choke the bastard. This was a person when I lived with him was a penny pinching fool. Two months after I broke up with him he did the following things: 1) Buy a new car 2)Buy a new TV 3) Get Cable (we never had it) 4) Buy a new computer (BTW-his old computer was only 2 years old and only used for surfing the net) And why would I not say something nice? We parted on good terms and kept in friendly sporadic contact up until a few years ago (which I think corresponded with his new relationship)

Now I find out he went and got married. We were together for a very long time and at one point, we sort of unofficially decided to get married. We never made a formal announcement, we just sort of told folks we were thinking about finally getting married after living together for 6 years. Obviously we never did, but I remember everyone being very happy for us. When I realized I was for all intents and purposes, but dumped, I fell in to a deep depression, it took me a while to get over it and move on. And a while to get up the courage to leave the relationship,while it was not great, was a relationship that gave me comfortable boundaries.

This whole thing kinda threw me for a loop, but as I watched TV tonight, I realized I had to be the bigger person, give the recommendation and move on or move on more than I thought I had.

Why am I writing about this in a bankruptcy blog? Because it's all about taking control of ones life, making positive progress and moving on. That was part of my past, and actually finding out the ex has gotten married has given me some closure on that part of my old life and is freeing me to move on. Breathe in, Breathe out, slowly exhale........

Blogs Of Note

I'll be adding blogs of note as I find them-

The first two:

Save Karyn www.savekaryn.com-Karyn Bosnak's original site with a link to her blog, pretty in the city. God I wish I thought of asking total strangers for money before she did on a web site. Gotta love the boldness, and the posts. And she is a dog lover.

Jennsylvania: Just read her book, Bright Lights, Big Ass. Someone else who loves the Holy Trinity (Ikea, Target and Trader Joes) almost as much as I do. Spending $20 at Target it better than two therapy sessions and cheaper to boot.

Check them out. These ladies have given me inspiration to go forth with this

OK Take a Breath and BREATHE

I got the call the other day from the Para-legal in my attorney's office. She needed two more items then I would be ok to come in and sign. Ok to come in and sign. That meant the final signature on my Bankruptcy Petition for the Court.

I said OK, I'll find the information and send it to you. I hung up the phone and felt my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. It was happening, it really was.

How did I get to Bankruptcy? Well, to quote the Queen of Personal Finance, Karyn Bosnak, 'Swipe, Sign and it was Mine." Sort of.

For a number of years I had managed my credit cards, I have a house with a small mortgage, I had a car payment, I had student loans. Someplace along the line I just made a lot of bad financial decisions, lots of bad decisions. I did realize at one point in time to stop using credit and pay for everything with cash, which I did, but I also spent the cash. I made some late payments on my car loan and then my credit card rates skyrocketed. One card went from 8% to 28% in less than three months. The headway I was making paying down my debt was wiped out. I could not keep up with the payments with the increased interest rates. I had 5 Credit Cards, almost all of them maxed out and in the five digit range and things got crazy. I had no savings, no emergency cash, none of those practical things someone should have. I lived paycheck to paycheck and it caught up with me. Plus my personal life and relationships had taken a weird turn. In and amongst this fiscal nightmare, I'm having to re-evaluate many of my personal relationships (and business ones as well).

How this happened, I have several theories, at one point I was a responsible person, with savings, a retirement plan, a boyfriend, a good job, hardly any debt.

All I can say at this point is my life fell apart. I could not pay my bills, I could not write checks out, I was paralyzed to pick up the phone and talk to Master Card. My part time business fell apart and I had to cut my (substantial) losses and end my business partnership. My partner ended up being more of a liability than an asset and at least I was smart enough to realize I was being taken advantage of for my skills and not being compensated for them. I just could not do it. I put my head in the sand and imagined the worst happening to me and it did.

If you believe The Secret, then you know about the Law of Attraction and all I was attracting was the bad stuff. Part of me wanted to know how this could have happened to me. I felt like a magnet and all I was attracting was the bad stuff. Now mind you I used to attract all sorts of good stuff. People, dogs, money, gifts, clients, possessions, it was all good stuff.

My goals now are to come back from bankruptcy. How to bounce back? I'm not sure yet. The court has not approved my petition, I still am not sure what is going to happen or what I will do.

Here are my goals, writing them down makes them tangible

1) Keep breathing and Keep positive
2) Make a new financial plan. I've already started by opening a HSA as my new job does not have a great health plan and I need to take better care of me
3) Remind myself that I am lucky enough to have food on my table and roof over my head.
4) Start planning for a better life, it may mean new friends, but plan for and expect better days.
5) Find a way to get financing for a new car- Now you may be saying, Bouncing, why would you want to finance a new car after your recent fiscal experience? Well my current vehicle is 9 years old and has 220,000 miles on it, I've put all but 41 of those miles and the poor car is starting to show it's age. More than anything else, I have good car karma, as long as the car is not red. Red Car and I have ïssues", any other color, we are good to go. When my petition is approved, I will be able to afford a new reliable vehicle. My current car is still reliable, but starting to fade..........
6) Get back in to Physical shape. Partly due to the stress, my physical health is being stressed. I know it's all due to the stress. I know it. I have to change it, plus I've eaten my way to two larger dress sizes and can't afford new clothes. I've turned into a round mound and I DONT LIKE IT!'I will never be slim and trim, but I know I can be fit and curvy and not a round mound.

I'm hoping to use this space to vent about this process and what I'm going through. I hope to end up making this a resource center for people in my situation. I really feel so alone in this entire process, so alone. Who wants to admit to anyone they have failed? Or to have the stigma that they are BANKRUPT.


I am going to work on turning my life around. I need it! And I'm starting to Breathe again. And that is good!